Dating Pixelated Girls

It's Valentine's Day...again. This will be my 5th year to be without a date ever since Guatemalan-Italian and I separated ways when she left to live in Tennessee back in 2005. I suppose, in the span of 5 years, I could've found myself a nice girl already. But no, I got too busy with school, work, and hobby. Gaming, especially, took most of my spare time in the past years. So, every Valentine's, instead of dining and wining fine-looking women, I retreat into the solitude of my room and date pixelated girls of gaming.

I know, I may seem weird (because I am weird). But, while they're not as good as real girls, female video game characters have some advantages. For example, I like them because they're more animated and I can fully control them -not the other way around. They're also low maintenance and cheap (some you can even download for free. Illegally, of course).

During my gaming years -including my arcade years during the 90's- I've met many fine pixelated girls, and controlled them to do my whim. But alas, I can't make a really long list to accommodate them all. So, I have to cut it short and only list 10 of them. Anyways, here's my list:

My Top 10 Female Video Game Characters

10. Cammy (Street Fighter)

I had a hard time playing Street Fighter back then. I'd always get beaten up by my friends, and even by my friend's 5 year old brother. But their bullying stopped when I got my 'beat 'em up groove' when I started using Cammy.

Why I like her? She has strong, long legs that goes up to her neck.

9. Carla Valenti (Indigo Prophecy)

I bought Indigo Prophecy because I heard it was a good game, and its story was praised by a lot of adventure gamers. But I was surprised that the main characters, Lucas and Carla, had a sex scene. Of course, the censored they North American version, which disappointed me to no end.

Why I like her? Hardworking and, like me, a completionist. Daring enough to pose for Playboy.

8. Morrigan Aensland (Darkstalkers)

Darkstalkers was my favorite beat em up game during the mid 90's, and part of it was because of the sexy Morrigan. She may be a cute looking devil, but she's a devil nonetheless. I kick-ass with her too.

Why I like her? She's a succubus, a demon lover. What more could you ask for?

7. Faith (Mirror's Edge)

Honestly, I haven't finished playing Mirror's Edge. I'm just scared of heights, even in video games. But the intensity of the vertigo I get from heights is nothing compared when I see Faith's face. She rocks my world.

Why I like her? She's got nice tattoos. Great agility and endurance.

6. Alyx Vance (Half-Life 2)

Honestly, Alyx isn't the prettiest female video game character I've seen. I'm sure those chicks from Dead or Alive or Soul Caliber are way more hotter than her. But what she lacks in the T&A department, she makes it up with her brains and caring personality.

Why I like here? She's smart. Knows a lot about technology.

5. Cate Archer (Nobody Lives Forever)

I only bought Nobody Lives Forever because it was a bargain ($2). Little did I know that the main protagonist, Cate Archer, is going to become one of my favorite video game characters of all time. I even like her more than Gordon Freeman (who's probably a mute).

Why I like her? She's classy, she's sassy, she's groovy. The female counterpart of James Bond.

4. Tifa Lockheart (Final Fantasy VII)

As a kid who grew up playing Dungeons & Dragons, I don't play a lot of Japanese-made RPGs (because they're not RPGs). But Final Fantasy games, I'd replay them over and over just to see the cute girls. Amongst them all, however, Tifa is probably the best.

Why I like her? She's cute and chesty. Looks good on a tank top.

3. Miranda Lawson (Mass Effect 2)

Miranda's probably the prettiest video game character. Of course, her face (as well as her voice) belongs to actress Yvonne Strahovski, the sexy spy chick from Chuck. Next to Carla Valenti, she also delivered the steamiest sex scene in a game.

Why I like her? She's genetically engineered to be perfect. She's got assets...great ass sets.

2. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)

I haven't played a lot of Tomb Raider games. But it would be sacrilegious if don't include Lara in this list. After all, she's the first video game vixen. The first female character who had 3Ds (DDD).

Why I like her? She's rich and adventurous. Has nice guns and great air bags.

1. Morrigan (Dragon Age: Origins)

Morrigan grew up in the forest with no companions except for her mother, making her a sex-starved loner. You can always go to her tent and have sex with her, no strings attached such as love or commitment. She's the perfect girl.

Why I like her? She's willing to bear you a child and will even take full responsibility of raising the kid alone. How great is that!

Well, that's it for my Valentine's Day post, my top female video game characters. Although, as much as I enjoy writing this, I do hope to find a real date next year. I'm getting old after all.

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gillboard said...

bayonetta should be on this list.

Skron said...

I haven't played Bayonetta, and I probably never will.

iceberg said...

Whoa! I love Cammy. She's my favorite female streetfighter, though she don't appear in the earlier playstation version...

Kevin said...

Woah since I don't really play that much I'd like to date Garnet (from Final Fantasy IX). Lol. :D

OR NANASE! In Street Fighter X2, I think. She's beautiful.